Argument I heard on the bus  

• Guy 1: no, niggah, gay bros can raise babies. Look at that warthog motherfucker and that ferret thing that raised Simba. And that niggah became king of motherfucking Africa.

gothlolita:

im Sorry but you two cant get the marriage. the bible said Adam and Eve not matthew and ashley. come back when youve legally changed your names

nigerian:

[singing in shower] [simon cowell appears] “its a no from me”

LIFE HACK 

asap-tran:

really-shit:

If your phone gets wet, try putting it in a bag of dry rice. At night, the rice will attract Asians who will fix your electronics for you.

fuck

botoxheart:

pleatedjeans:

Six seconds well spent.

It was. It was.

riceslut:

I GOOGLED EGG PHOBIA AND

psychoticmist:

if you ever feel bad about yourself remember that george bush was once informed that 4 brazilian people were killed in iraq and he responded ‘how many is a brazilian’