psychoticmist:

if you ever feel bad about yourself remember that george bush was once informed that 4 brazilian people were killed in iraq and he responded ‘how many is a brazilian’

harlold:

this is literally my favorite video

deucebowl:

a fancy asian restaurant called “Suit and Thai”

attains:

attains:

if i were a murderer i’d be the febreze murderer and lead my victims blindfolded to undisclosed locations and i’d ask them what they smelled and they’d be like “omg ocean air and tulips” and then i’d rip off the blindfold and it would be A PILE OF THE BODIES OF MY PREVIOUS VICTIMS

my mom made me go to a therapist because of this

an-idiosyncratic-method:

When you go to a friend’s house to stay the night and get stuck with the scratchy blanket.

You know the one.

It’s made of wool.

It has satiny trim that tries to deceive you into thinking this will be a nice blanket experience.

But it’s not.

Every house has one. 

It’s buried deep in the bowels of the linen closet, under some afghans and a comforter with the down coming out of it, but make no mistake.

The scratchy blanket is there. 

And it waits. 

mollyiswideawake:

the-eleventh-blog:

iwanty0ubleeders:

can you imagine

if google just disappeared from the internet 

and then we couldn’t google what happened to it

because google was gone 

It took me a good two minutes to work out that that is a picture of a person in a translucent waterslide and not someone trapped in a human test tube in a horror film

kingchemistry:

In California, we don’t say “i love you”, we say “Beach beach HOLLYWOOD valley girl GOLDEN GATE BRIDGE socal norcal” which roughly translates too “ur welcome for the In-and-Out, fucktrucks” i think that’s really beautiful